It was the end of the service, and I was standing at the rear of the sanctuary greeting people as they were exiting. I had just finished leading the service while the pastor was away on vacation. Everything from the opening, to the reading of scripture, delivering the sermon, and sending out the congregation with the benediction. I had done it all... and in my mind, I had nailed it! I felt everything went well. I hadn't stumbled in the sermon, I had noticed multiple congregants nodding their heads or laughing at my attempts at humor. On top of that, the overwhelming sense as if I was doing what I had been called by God to do! What a feeling of fulfillment and joy it was to know that I had helped others to encounter God that morning in worship.
I was shaking folks hands and receiving their standard "great sermon" comments, along with the occasional question or personal connection peppered in about a story I had shared. I was reaching the end of the swell of departures when one of the church's long-time members stuck out their hand to me, shook it vigorously, and with strength in their voice proclaimed... "You are going to make a great preacher someday."
Statements like these and others, though given with the best of intention, are actually the bane of every young or aspiring minister's existence. So let's look at the bad of similar statements and the good (think 'better') way of acknowledging what a minister had done.
THE BAD
Simply put, statements such as "you will someday" can cause the young minister to question what has already been done in their ministry. Even the most confident and equipped of ministers can be irritated by such a statement. In the above example, the comment was in response to preaching and leading a worship service. Preaching and proclamation is the most visible form of ministry that congregations see, and it happens at least 52 times a year (not including all those extra-special services, i.e Advent, Christmas, Lent, Easter, Funerals, Weddings, etc.) But there is so much more that is being done by the minister. When someone says something to the effect of "how great one will be in the future," the minister is left thinking, "Well what about what I am already doing?" If this person is not in the senior minister role, more than likely their work takes on many different forms, often outside of the church building. Statements about the future could make the young minister feel as if their current work/ministry is not appreciated, validated, or significant.
I have heard the statement of "great preacher someday" many times. So many, I stopped keeping count after the twentieth occurrence. I once delivered a sermon and had someone make the statement to me after. I was already a seminary graduate, had been ordained three years earlier, and had been in ministry of some form for almost eight years. In my mind I thought to myself, "Well what the heck would you call what I have been doing for the last few years?"
THE GOOD
So what can be said instead? One of the greatest things a parishioner can say to any minister is "thank you." These two simple words mean more to a minister of any experience than just about anything else that could be said. It shows appreciation and recognition for what has been done. In so many ways it says, "I noticed what you did, and that God was at work in it. So 'thank you' for responding to God's leading in being used in such a way."
If you want to take it a step further than just "thank you," engage the minister in a conversation about the ministry that took place. This works well for sermon delivery, but it can be applied in response to any form of ministry (children's sermon, hospital visit, attending a youth ball game, putting together a bulletin for a special service, leading a Bible study). Engaging in a conversation about the work being done shows that their efforts are being noticed, and that you as a church member care about the ministry they are performing. Half of the internal battle minister regularly face is wondering if anyone cares about what they are doing anyway? Show that you care by taking the initiative to ask questions. You may just find out something you didn't know before.
Recently, my participation in worship at our church consisted of reading the morning's lectionary text. Following the service, a faithful parishioner who is not the most vocal of leaders but certainly is always present, sought me out. They said, "Josh, I just wanted to let you know how lucky we are to have you here. I love hearing you read scripture, you make it come alive." I literally had to hold back tears. For most worship attendees, the reading of scripture is an expected aspect of service and it occurs each week. It can easily be placed aside as mundane or not outstanding. Worshipers see me stand up, read, and return to my seat. What they don't see is the time spent on Thursday reading for clarity of what is happening in the text, or hear the practicing of the delivery so it sounds just right. Nor do they know of the prayers offered up to God that the holy words would be made alive in the hearts of the people who hear it. A simple act of ministry to some, is a life-giving one for the minister. The right words offered unexpectedly can often make all the difference when it is needed most.
Preach on Rev. Owens!
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